Almost At My Lowest

Well it has been quite awhile since i last posted to my blog and I have really been working on managing my time in order to post more...but that task for me is easier said than done. Many of you may not know but yesterday was actually my twentieth birthday...I most say I really enjoyed myself my favorite gift was a poster of the 1968 Olympic games where Tommie Smith and John Carlos stood on the podium with fist raised to symbolize black power. Its hanging above my tv in my dorm as we speak!

Well I can't say that today was as enjoyable...as many of you know I am a collegiate track & field athlete, today's practice was one that I can only pray I forget really soon. Ive been running the high hurdles for about 5 years now and my transition from high school to college on the hurdles has been one of the most nerve-wrecking experiences imaginable! Today just added to those experiences...our first meet is on the 2nd of Feb. and I am dying to run the 55mh but I currently cannot even approach the 2nd hurdle which poses an almost impossible chance of me being able to compete in the coming meet. Thus far my coach and I have come to the conclusion that I am not aggressive enough, a bit uncontrolled and without my correct rhythm...when aggressive I lose control....when in control i lose aggression and when both are on...there is no rhythm. I have never experience such a struggle in my track and field career...I've prayed...humbled myself and put in so much work and still I am unable to see results. My mind is exhausted and totally frustrated at this point. Im searching for answers but there seems to be no solutions college was supposed to be my moment to hone my talent and progress but i have seemingly digressed to the point where hurdling has become an on going internal struggle within myself...I cant figure out if the problem is that I had become used to having someone to drive me and compete with in highschool or that it may be all mental... I am just praying that the struggle ends soon.